Best Ways to Dump a Bike

Well, before you know it, the rain will be over and summer riding season will be on us hot and heavy. No pun intended on the “hot” remark!!!

I thought this month I would do something different. Instead of telling you how to be safe and avoid dumping your bike, I thought I’d give you some pointers on how to dump your bike. Maybe if you know how, you’ll think to avoid these things when they creep up. So here they are, 25 ways on how to dump your bike!!! Now, let me keep you informed. I stole these from an article of 128 ways to dump you bike but I don’t think we need that much education. Take a look, some of these are funny.

  1. Putting your foot into a hole when stopping.
  2. Putting your foot down on something slippery when stopping.
  3. Locking the front wheel during overenthusiastic braking.
  4. Missing the driveway and sliding on the grass.
  5. Not putting the kickstand down when getting off.
  6. Make a turn from stop in gravel or sand at high throttle.
  7. Not putting a board (‘foot’)under the kickstand on asphalt on a hot day.
  8. Letting overenthusiastic people sit on your bike who have never been on a bike.
  9. Forgetting the bike’s in gear when you jump on the kickstarter.
  10. Revving the engine, releasing clutch, and putting feet on pegs when the light turns green, but the bike’s in neutral.
  11. Not putting your foot down when stopping at red light.
  12. Losing balance when putting it on the centerstand.
  13. Take an hour ride in 30 degree weather with no gloves, stop at a stop sign and pop the clutch when you start because you’ve lost feeling in your hands.
  14. Putting your foot down at a toll booth on the thick layer of grease that builds up when cars stop.
  15. Using too much power when you pull out of a greasy toll booth.
  16. Ignoring the sand that builds up in the spring at the side of the road (in places where roads are sanded and salted in inter.)
  17. Kicking your kickstand in a cool fashion and having it bounce back up instead of staying down.
  18. Getting off your bike while it is running and forgetting that is in gear.
  19. Trying to kick start your first bike over and over because you didn’t realize that it was really out of fuel, and getting the goofy metal ring on the side of your boot caught in the kickstarter, causing you (and the bike) to go over on the right side.
  20. Starting your brand-new electric-start trail-bike, riding around an ornamental shrub on full left lock, throwing it to the right and accelerating to wheelie over the curb onto the street and _then_ discovering that you hadn’t unlocked the steering-lock…
  21. On same bike, getting the dual-range lever caught inside your jeans as you come to a stop…
  22. Having your boot/jeans catch the gear-lever and putting your running bike into first gear whilst reaching for the side-stand (which is why I now automatically pull in the clutch whenever deploying or retracting the stand.)
  23. Having “green” racing linings which have much higher coefficient of friction on the slight rust that forms on the polished drum when you’ve not ridden for a few hours, and lose the front-end holding the brakes on against the throttle to wear off the rust.
  24. Having a three-cylinder two-stroke that’s so smooth you think you’re in second when you’re actually in first, so you spin out when the undercarriage touches down in a tight corner passing a car and you think, “just a bit more throttle will help here…”
  25. Revving bike in impressive squidly fashion at red light, thinking it’s in neutral; dropping clutch and standing in place while bike wheelies and backflips into intersection.

Don’t forget, the hot weather is just around the corner. Take plenty of water and sports drinks to keep well hydrated. Plan on a quart for every hour you’re out riding. A note here, beer actually forces your body to expel water (like we didn’t know that already!!!)

As always, ride safe and ride often…

Dave Fisher, Safety Officer